Denial rings
Like the final
Warning bell;
With fear and sorrow
Unbelievable.
Unthinkable
Is it truth they try to
Force at me?
It's all lies-
It has to be
By tomorrow,
You will be back,
Laughing by my side.
Or sitting there
on the brown leather couch
Like forever, always, before.
Anger comes crashing in
Like the stormy waves
Of a putrid grey sea.
It rises up and
Drowns me under
The all-encompassing expanse
Of an open ocean.
All the yelling and destruction
Is just a by-product of
A terrible situation.
Questions without answers
Only to be asked for eternity...
He left me here,
Something more than
I can seem to understand
Bargaining with almighty
I'll give anything
For this time
To simply rewind.
Desperation fuels
Every action,
Scrambling against
Fate itself.
Something or someone out there
Must be willing
To make the deal
To return things to
Their rightful level.
It is not just another deal,
Not just another bargain.
Depression crashes down
Burying me under
Six feet of ground.
Passers after passers
Wonder at all the trouble.
Faded senses,
Sinking deeper than
Comprehensible.
Wet skin, covered in
Tear stains;
Depression is a wave
That comes and goes
With each of these
Never-ending passing days
Acceptance sings a tune
Through my bones
Up to my brain
Into my heart
Where I know
They're still here...
Acceptance rings crystal clear
The answer to an
Unanswerable inquiry.
They would not have
Wanted me to feel fear
Nor sorrow or sadness
But cheer and good will
Remembering through memories
Not the sadness
Acceptance always surfaces last
But always heals those wounds
That show scars of the past.
I love you papa, until the end of time <3
~mj
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